single black babe w/ dog

I’m not sure if modern psychology and medicine has caught on to this yet, but there is a new illness spreading rapidly through the female gender of the African-American ethnic group. It appears to have viral characteristics, though it may be bacterial in nature. It is still too early to tell.

It’s common-usage name is Single Black Babe with Dog (“SBBD”).

All black women with canine companions are vulnerable to this ailment. Common symptoms include dog in bag, dog in sweater, dog in booties, dog in bed, inane prattling to dog in baby-talk voice, dog with own Instagram or other social media account, barkbox subscription, organic dog food supply, frequent kisses on the lip with dog, confusing language that seemingly discusses a human child but in fact refers to dog, perpetual lack of romantic partner, lac of fulfillment in other areas of life, desire for control, loud ticking of the maternal clock, amongst others.

WARNING: This ailment is highly contagious. Frequent close contact with those infected with SBBD may find themselves more inclined to think like those infected persons and become infected themselves.

To protect against possible infections of SBBD, seek as much human companionship as possible. Also, regularly take a dose of reality to remind yourself of the difference between humans and animals. Finally, the best method to prevent possible infection of SBBD is a constant and fulfilling source of d*ck.